...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
