Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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