is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
