So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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