Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
