You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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