i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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