If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i think my mom watched the whole time
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i drank out of a bidet.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
