I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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