sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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