No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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