Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize