well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
