so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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