Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
