I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
