We're like a lot better than the average bears
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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