dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
