O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
