No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
