God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
