pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
