You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
