Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
