I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize