1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
