Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
