Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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