i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
