I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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