does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
