Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
