I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
