you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
