We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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