So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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