Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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