i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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