After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
