Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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