Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
