just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Vodka?
Forever.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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