she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
