She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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