That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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