I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
