i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize