He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We talked him into tasing himself.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
