Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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