Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
