I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
