I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
