I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
