Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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