If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have already put on my inside pants.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
