My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
