When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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