Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have post one night stand depression
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
