Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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