And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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