was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This baby is an asshole
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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