This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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