Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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