So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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