How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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