If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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