pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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