i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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