I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
