Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize